Today’s post is a guest post from Keighley who blogs over at makeupandmummydays.com. Keighley talks openly about her Post-Natal Depression on her blog and she has very kindly offered to share her story on my blog today. Please join me in welcoming Keighley and her story.
Happy Mental Health Awareness Week! This post is going to be based on a topic which is very close to my heart, Post-natal Depression.
Personally, I cannot believe I did not receive more information on this topic before I had my son. I had this perception that PND was very uncommon and it was never going to affect me or my life. An unbelievable 1 out of 10 women suffer from PND, it can also affect men. After learning those two facts I could not believe that this topic was not discussed more!
This is a very daunting post for me to write as I feel that PND is still something that is very taboo but, it might just help one person so here goes.
I fell pregnant with my first baby in 2015. I was unaware of my pregnancy until the summer of 2016. After weeks of tears, decisions and discussions – me and my partner were finally in a place where we were happy and excited about the arrival of our little one. Eight weeks later in August, I gave birth to the most beautiful little baby I have ever laid eyes on. I was totally and completely besotted. We both were.
For me, like most new mothers, the first couple of weeks were great. Could not be better. Over the moon, so happy that nothing else mattered. Until my partner went back to work after his paternity leave. I began to get extremely weepy and I was constantly down. I spoke to my Health Visitor who explained that it was just ‘baby blues’ and it would go away once my hormones had leveled out.
For weeks I continued in this cycle of feeling weepy and down. I then began to get angry, angry at bloody everything. I am not an angry person by nature, I hate confrontation but I was extremely horrid towards my partner all the time. I grew extremely jealous and paranoid that our relationship was not the way it used to be (spoiler – it was, I was imagining it).
I felt completely isolated and suffocated by the fact that life hadn’t stopped for anyone but me. My partner had gone back to work, the visitors had stopped, I was alone constantly. I was so jealous of everyone doing other things and all I could think of was going back to work. I kept thinking about how I was just Mum, I wasn’t me anymore, I was just someone’s Mum. My needs, dreams, and goals didn’t matter anymore.
Then, the thoughts started. I would say for any mother struggling with PND the scariest and worst part is the thoughts that come with it. You begin to have evil thoughts about yourself and your baby, which obviously we would never ever even dream of harming our little baby but, they are extremely scary when you have no idea why you are feeling like this.
After struggling with this for a long time, I turned to my partner and told him everything. He was so supportive and really helped me through it. I also spoke to a different doctor who has changed my method of contraception to a method with a lower hormone level to see if that helps. I have just been talking about my feelings and carrying out self-love activities. Things that I enjoy and give me something just for me. I have also been trying to get out of the house more because that can make you go stir-crazy!
I am feeling a million times better and that is all down to actually recognising that there was something wrong and talking about it.
You know what they say, prevention is always better than a cure. I would love for PND to become a more talked about and less taboo subject. I would love for women and men who suffer from being able to discuss their feelings and fears without fear of judgement. This is why I have shared my story.
I hope that this helped at least one person, should anyone need or want to discuss PND with me just drop me a message, I am here to help, I have been there!
Mental Health Awareness Week runs from Monday 08th May – Sunday 14th 2017. Check back throughout the week to hear how I handle some of my worst days, pamper the stress away and coming up this week I have a guest post on Keighley’s story of Post Natal Depression.
Whatever happens, just know that there are always people out there that will help you, whether that is myself or charities such as: